Worry Archives - Christel Maritz

5 Times to Embrace the Power of Negative Thinking

Yes, REALLY.

My whole life I have been told to embrace the power of positive thinking. This was something a lot of adults said to me, a negative, nervous little girl, riddled with anxiety.

Well, that and “stop worrying or you’ll give yourself an ulcer.”

Thanks, Mrs. Nicholson! Ulcers don’t work that way! Anxiety is more than something other than an annoyance for you to deal with from 9 to 3! Fourth grade was a living nightmare and also I hate you!

19 Quotes For When Anxiety Feels Completely Overwhelming

The truth of the matter is this, our negative emotions are just as important in our lives as our positive emotions.

I know that I, for one, used to view my negative emotions as things that were “bad”, that I needed to change. But in his new book, The Power Of Negative Thinking, Dr. Tim Lomas shows what he’s learned over the course of his career thus far — and a big part of that is how our understanding our negative emotions and letting them be can actually make us much more happier in the long run.

Here are some examples of the physical and mental benefits of our negative emotions. Now if you will excuse me, while you read I will go have a good cry.

1. Pulling Away When You’re Sad

When you go through something like a big break up, or you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, it’s totally normal to retreat from the world, wrap yourself up in a blanket and lay in your bed with only Netflix and the delivery guy for company and comfort. It’s just as normal for your friends to try and break you out of your funk.

But here’s the thing, neuroscientists have found that when you retreat this way your brain is telling your body to go into its own very necessary form of hibernation. It’s doing what it needs to do to let you heal and to help you feel stronger than ever. Let the streets know!

2. Crying Your Eyes Out

I cry at the drop of the hat. Happy, sad, angry, I am prone to cry. I used to get frustrated about this because as a working woman it’s a tough enough struggle as it is already without adding an ocean of tears into the equation. Plus, crying when you’re say, having a fight with a partner, completely undermines you leaving both parties frustrated.

Luckily there’s science behind our weeping. Tears remove toxins (including stress hormones), kill bacteria, and keep our mucus membranes moist and lubricated, making our sight better than ever. You know that great feeling of calm after a bout of weeping? There’s biology behind it! Crying clears up your perspective in more ways than one.

3. Feeling Incredibly Bored

When I was kid I was constantly complaining to my parents about being bored. My dad would cryptically respond to my complaints with “talk to me in twenty years.” I know what he means now, and I miss those days where I had even an extra to waste on a feeling like boredom.

It turns out I’m pining with good reason. A scientist discovered a strange pattern in our brain activity when we aren’t engaged in a specific task. He called this pattern the Default Mode Network (DMN). Today neuroscientists believe that the DMN plays a critical role in our artistic ideas, new thoughts, and sense of self. In short, when you think you’re bored you are probably right on track to be struck with a brilliant idea.

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4. When You’re Lonely

There is a real difference between feeling lonely and enjoy solitude. In the fuss of our constantly connected age, now more than ever we need to remember not just how to disconnect, but how to be alone, enjoying or solitude without feeling “lonely.”

Enjoying solitude can allow for your brain to “reboot,” helps bolster productivity, and solve problems with greater ease. There’s more to enjoying a night to yourself than eating a pint of ice cream and watching Mean Girls, science says so.

5. Those Times Anxiety Strikes

Anxiety is something we all experience in one form or another. Unless you are suffering from an anxiety disorder, daily anxiety can be helpful in encouraging you to test your boundaries, push yourself, and to be better prepared to face adversity.

Astronaut Chris Hadfield calls this embracing the power of negative thinking, and he’s right. Rather than looking at any of these negative feelings as hindrances, we should start seeing all the ways in which these natural and normal emotions help us in very real ways every day.

This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 5 Scientific Reasons Anxious, Negative People Are Actually HEALTHIER.Save

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Seven Seconds to Success

When you first encounter someone they make a decision about you in seven seconds. Beyond a first impression which is made during the first three seconds and is relatively shallow about your appearance and attractiveness, the next four seconds is where you seal your fate. Seven seconds is all it takes to make it or break it, whether it is during a job interview, sales call, or annual performance review. A lifetime of preparation can boil down to a seven-second encounter.

Why Seven Seconds?

All of us, admittedly or not, form an opinion about a person or business within seven seconds of coming in contact with them. Those hasty judgements we make have their roots in evolution. In other words, our primitive origins drive our modern day social interactions. In fact, evolutionary psychologists go so far to suggest that we make quick decisions now because we had to act fast in early times to not end up as dinner!

Our psychological make-ups have not changed while our environment and challenges have. In prehistoric times, you would have had to make a quick judgment about an encounter with an unknown animal to avoid being a snack. Today, you make a hasty decision about a new business partner, service provider, or even romantic interest to avoid being taken advantage of, or worse, physically hurt.

According to Mark Schaller, a leading social psychologist at the University of British Columbia, during that critical first seven seconds of contact, we subconsciously decide whether a threat might be present and if we want to engage with someone. In seven seconds we sum up a new person well enough to try to figure out if we are interacting with a criminal or a sociopath that might steal from us or do us harm, or a nice person we want to do business with, buy a product from, or even date.

Tips to Prepare for Your Seven Seconds

Your life is a series of seven-second encounters where the world is judging you. All day everyday people decide if they want to do business with you, hire you, date you, or even be your friend. So, how do you best prepare for those fateful seven seconds? How do you connect with someone in seven seconds?

Jog, bike, or walk on a regular basis.
It is widely accepted that rhythmic exercise like running builds confidence, grooms effective leaders, and is associated with greater income. But, how? Exercise like walking and stair climbing are primitive. They are a central pattern generator (CPG) that once it starts it keeps going like a wheel and activates your primitive brain. While the body moves, the brain can do something else, such as listen to music or watch a television monitor.

Think of a CPG as a liberator. It allows your brain to think, reflect and plan while your body does its thing. Any simple, easy rhythmic exercise calms your mind and decreases your anxiety. In the long run, it puts you in touch with your primitive, natural, and relaxed self that people will like and trust.
Mimic the other person’s body language.
This communicates empathy. If the person you encounter is standing, then stand. If their arms are open and at their side, yours should be too. When we convey empathy we establish a connection and within seven seconds can begin to build a lasting relationship.
Quell social anxiety.
As we saw above, regular exercise like jogging can help over time, but not always in the moment. The problem with anxiety is that nervousness conveys uneasy excitement to others. It is unnerving and will immediately turn people off to you. When you are anxious, forget seven seconds; you are done in less than three!

The reason is that primitive man would have experienced anxiety to signal danger — a lurking predator for example. So when you are anxious you are signaling a nearby threat and people will associate you with danger. To appear less anxious, remember that anxiety is your brain playing tricks on you by overvaluing social encounters.

To reduce anxiety, breathe deeply and maintain open-arms and tall postures to signal to your brain that there is no threat. Next, shift your focus from you to the other person. Be empathetic. Ask yourself, what is (s)he saying? Determine how (s)he feels. By focusing on the other person, you establish rapport and are now using anxiety to your advantage during each seven-second encounter.

Seven Seconds goes by in a hurry. But it is all the time we have based on how evolution wired our brains. Prepare for your seven seconds with rhythmic exercise to put your best foot forward and then use the easy how-to tips to make every seven seconds a success!

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Seven Seconds to Success
Seven Seconds to Success
Disorders
When you first encounter someone they make a decision about you in seven seconds. Beyond a first impression which is made during the first three seconds and is relatively shallow about your appearance and attractiveness, the next four seconds is…