A Year of Growth and Reflection

The festive season can often bring up emotions and triggers that leave us feeling vulnerable. Yet, it’s also a time to pause, reflect on what we’ve overcome, and consider what still needs attention. What we’ve accomplished in 2024 becomes our stepping stone for 2025—a year where we continue to grow stronger, lighter, and more equipped to face life’s challenges.

Part of the challenge during the festive season is navigating relationships with loved ones who may be neurodivergent or have personality disorders. These dynamics often require a deeper level of patience, understanding, and emotional resilience. Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with changes in routine, sensory sensitivities, or heightened social demands during this time, while those with personality disorders might experience intensified emotions, interpersonal conflicts, or difficulty managing their feelings in communal settings.

As a result, it’s crucial to focus on emotionally regulating ourselves. Emotional regulation involves recognizing and managing our emotions in ways that allow us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, setting realistic expectations, and practicing self-compassion can help reduce stressors. By understanding our emotional triggers and finding strategies that work best for us, we can foster an environment of grace, inclusivity, and understanding that supports both ourselves and our loved ones.

At the same time, maintaining healthy boundaries is essential. Boundaries are not barriers but guidelines that protect everyone’s emotional and physical well-being. Clear and compassionate boundaries create communal spaces of safety and respect, ensuring that individual needs are honored without compromising the collective harmony of gatherings. This balance allows for a festive environment where inclusivity and empathy coexist with the security and self-care necessary for meaningful connections.

I want to thank each of you for trusting me on your healing journey. As we move into this reflective season, take the time to acknowledge your progress, release what no longer serves you, and fill your cup with joy and hope for the year ahead.

If new emotions arise, or you find yourself ready to unpack and resolve more, please reach out to me at cmaritz67@gmail.com for an appointment. Let’s work together to embrace 2025 with renewed strength and fresh perspectives.

Warm wishes,
Christa Maritz
Clinical Psychologist, Somerset West

Contact: cmaritz67@gmail.com

Being Self-aware or NOT?

LACK OF SELF-AWARENSS AS PART OF A Personality Disorders

Personality disorders are a group of mental health conditions that involve long-lasting, disruptive patterns of thinking, behavior, mood and relating to others.
People with personality disorders often don’t realize their thoughts and behaviors are problematic. Self-awareness is arguably the most fundamental issue in psychology, from both a developmental and an evolutionary perspective. It allows us to see things from the perspective of others, practice self-control, work creatively and productively, and experience pride in ourselves and our work as well as general self-esteem (Silvia & O’Brien, 2004). It leads to better decision making (Ridley, Schutz, Glanz, & Weinstein, 1992).

It is one of the first components of the self-concept to emerge. People are not born completely self-aware. Yet evidence suggests that infants do have a rudimentary sense of self-awareness. Being self-aware all the time is hard. In fact, there are many human flaws – or cognitive biases – that keep us from making rational decisions. It’s these human biases that cause a lack of self-awareness. 

“Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards.”

Internal self-awareness, represents how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others. External self-awareness, means understanding how other people view us. When it comes to internal and external self-awareness, it’s tempting to value one over the other. The bottom line is that self-awareness isn’t one truth. It’s a delicate balance of two distinct, even competing, viewpoints.

Self-awareness is a crucial skill to have when it comes to being a kind, compassionate and happy person. However, most humans are prone to do things or make decisions that don’t seem self-aware at all.

Disorders of self-awareness frequently follow frontal lobe damage. Patients with bilateral lesions of the premotor cortex often have poor self-awareness and finger tap slowly. Patients with orbitofrontal lesions also may have impaired self-awareness, but their speed of finger tapping is normal.

Although most people believe that they are self-aware, true self-awareness is a rare quality. Self-awareness seems to have become the latest management buzzword — and for good reason. Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. We’re less likely to lie, cheat, and steal. We are better workers who get more promotions. And we’re more-effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies.

  • Bodily self-awareness. T
  • Social self-awareness.
  • Introspective self-awareness.

There are 4 keys to self-awareness – being intentional, thinking differently, building skills, and changing your context – can make a vital difference in moving from passive self-awareness to dynamic action.

What disorder lacks self-awareness?

Individuals who have signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder have one major thing in common, a lack of self-awareness. 
Why is self-awareness so important?
Being self-aware gives us the ability to end negative unhealthy patterns. If you’re in a relationship with someone who seems to lack self-awareness, whether they have signs and symptoms of BPD or NPD, we need to get to the core of the issues. When someone is lacking self-awareness, it will contribute to arguments within the relationship. A person who lacks self-awareness doesn’t have the ability to fully see how their actions and attitude affects another person. When we look closely into an unhealthy relationship, we find a lack of self-awareness.
Lack of insight also typically causes a person to avoid treatment. When someone rejects a diagnosis of mental illness, it’s tempting to say that he’s “in denial.” But someone with acute mental illness may not be thinking clearly enough to consciously choose denial. They may instead be experiencing “lack of insight” or “lack of awareness.” The formal medical term for this medical condition is anosognosia, from the Greek meaning “to not know a disease.”
INSTROSPECTION DOESN’T ALWAYS IMPROVE SELF-AWARENESS

It is also widely assumed that introspection — examining the causes of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors — improves self-awareness. After all, what better way to know ourselves than by reflecting on why we are the way we are?

We need to be sure we are self-aware and apply it to ourselves in order to be more successful in every aspect of our lives. Self-awareness is key to mindfulness and understanding one’s self fully. Cultivating self-awareness requires an introspective approach, a system and a process to actively and consciously engage in the recognition of ourselves as an individual. This means focusing on all of our being — our beliefs (open or limiting), our physical state of health, our mental state of health, our spiritual state of health and more. It is an acceptance of all the good parts of ourselves and the areas that need improvement. It’s about who we are and what we do daily in each moment.


Sources:

https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/signs-theyre-not-self-aware-bpd-and-npd-have-this-in-common-kpkn/

Click to access Rochat5levels.pdf

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Common-with-Mental-Illness/Anosognosia

 

 

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