Christel Maritz Blog - Christel Maritz

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Clinical Psychologist: Neuroscientific Therapy

Are you seeking professional psychological support to address your emotional challenges and improve your mental well-being? Christel Maritz, a trusted Clinical Psychologist based in Somerset West, offers a unique, personalized approach to therapy grounded in neuroscience. With over 22 years of experience, Christel focuses on alleviating symptoms rather than labeling diagnoses, ensuring a compassionate, tailored experience for every client.

Why Choose Christel Maritz as Your Clinical Psychologist?

Tailored, Neuroscientific Approach
Christel integrates advanced insights into brain-based therapy, creating effective treatment plans designed to address individual needs. Inspired by Brain2Brain: Enacting Client Change through the Persuasive Power of Neuroscience by John Arden, she incorporates the latest research to foster lasting emotional healing.
Proven Experience and Expertise
Christel’s academic background combines the rigor of science with a deep understanding of human psychology. Starting with a B.Sc. in Psychology at the University of Stellenbosch, she majored in Mathematical Statistics and Psychology before earning her Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology in 1991. Her extensive experience bridges scientific theory and practical application, providing clients with effective, evidence-based care.
Flexible Therapy Options
Whether you prefer in-person sessions in Somerset West or the convenience of online therapy, Christel offers flexible options to ensure accessibility for clients across South Africa and beyond.

The Neuroscience of Emotional Well-Being

As a Clinical Psychologist Christel’s therapeutic approach emphasizes the role of the brain in mental health. She recognizes that while psychotherapeutic methods may vary, the shared foundation is rooted in neuroscience. Her expertise allows her to identify these commonalities and provide actionable strategies to help clients achieve emotional balance and resilience.

What Can Christel Help You With?

Stress and anxiety management
Navigating life transitions
Building emotional resilience
Trauma recovery
Achieving clarity and emotional safety
Neurodivergence
BWRT

Start Your Healing Journey Today

Taking the first step toward mental well-being is easier than you think. With Christel’s empathetic and professional guidance as a trained Clinical Psychologist, you can embark on a transformative journey to emotional safety and balance.

Contact Christel Maritz
Whether you’re in Somerset West surrounding, or seeking online therapy from the comfort of your home, Christel Maritz as a Clinical Psychologist is here to help. Reach out today via email or through her secure online contact form. Together, you’ll work toward creating a brighter, more balanced future.

As a Clinical Psychologist Christel Maritz is trained in BWRT. BWRT Training teaches mental health professionals how to use BrainWorking Recursive Therapy® (BWRT®), a modern, neuroscience-based therapy for addressing psychological and emotional issues. Created by Terence Watts, BWRT focuses on reconditioning the brain’s survival responses, helping clients change negative reactions without revisiting traumatic events.

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Mental Instability: Recognise the Signs

Mental health issues can develop slowly or suddenly, sometimes leading a person to experience psychosis, a state of losing touch with reality. For families, this can be confusing and worrisome, especially when trying to identify signs and understand how to provide support. Knowing what symptoms to look out for and how to respond compassionately can help ensure a loved one receives the mental health care they need.

This article covers the signs of mental instability, how to recognize a shift in a loved one’s reality, and strategies for handling the situation in a way that prioritizes both their wellbeing and the safety of everyone involved.

1. Recognizing Signs of Mental Instability and Psychosis

Mental instability may appear differently depending on a person’s personality, environment, and specific mental health condition. Psychosis often involves hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking. Here are key indicators to watch for:

A) Changes in Thought Patterns

Delusions: Holding strong beliefs that don’t align with reality, such as having superhuman abilities or feeling persecuted.
Paranoia: Intense, irrational fears or suspicions.
Disorganized Thinking: Trouble following conversations or switching between unrelated topics abruptly.

B) Perceptual Disturbances

Hallucinations: Seeing, hearing, or feeling things that aren’t there.
Heightened Sensitivity: Overwhelmed by sensory input, leading to withdrawal or irritability.

C) Behavioral Changes

Mood Swings: Rapid shifts between emotions like sadness, anger, or euphoria.
Social Withdrawal: Isolating from friends, family, or enjoyable activities.
Erratic or Risky Behavior: Acting out of character or impulsively.

D) Changes in Daily Functioning

Neglecting Personal Hygiene: Stopping regular grooming routines.
Difficulty with Routine Tasks: Struggling with daily responsibilities or focusing.

E) Verbal Cues

Disorganized Speech: Speaking incoherently or using unusual words.
Aggressive or Fearful Language: Expressing sudden hostility or irrational fears.

2. Identifying When Someone Has Lost Touch with Reality

When a person loses touch with reality, they may have difficulty distinguishing between real and imagined events. Signs of psychosis include:

Persistent Unreal Beliefs: Holding implausible beliefs, despite evidence to the contrary.
Impaired Reasoning: Struggling to engage in logical discussions.
Emotional Disconnect: Appearing distant or unresponsive to others’ emotional cues.

3. How to Support a Loved One Experiencing Psychosis

Supporting someone in a state of psychosis requires a balance of empathy, calm communication, and safety measures. Here are practical steps:

A) Maintain a Calm Environment

Stay Calm: Use a gentle, steady tone to avoid causing agitation.
Limit Stimuli: Reduce loud noises and bright lights to prevent sensory overload.

B) Use Compassionate Communication

Acknowledge Their Feelings: Show empathy without validating delusions (e.g., “I see you’re feeling scared”).
Avoid Arguing: Debating can increase distress; focus on listening and empathizing.
Set Boundaries Gently: For safety, set necessary limits (e.g., “I’m going to stay here with you to help you feel safe”).

C) Prioritize Safety

Assess Immediate Danger: If there’s a risk of harm, consider emergency help, explaining the situation to responders.
Remove Harmful Objects: Discreetly relocate sharp or dangerous items if needed.
Enlist Support: Reach out to mental health professionals, crisis hotlines, or supportive family members.

D) Encourage Professional Help

Suggest Help Kindly: Recommend professional support in a supportive way (e.g., “Talking to someone could help make sense of this”).
Offer to Accompany Them: If they’re hesitant, offer to attend therapy sessions with them.
Involve Mental Health Services: Crisis intervention teams can provide immediate, professional support.

4. Taking Care of Yourself as a Caregiver

Supporting a loved one with mental health challenges can be emotionally exhausting. Protect your own wellbeing with these steps:

Set Personal Boundaries: Take time to recharge, and don’t feel guilty about it.
Seek Support: Talking to friends or a therapist can provide emotional relief.
Educate Yourself: Learning about mental health can equip you to better support your loved one.

5. Treatment Options for Long-Term Support

Long-term care is crucial for individuals experiencing psychosis or mental instability. Common treatment options include:

Psychotherapy: Therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) help individuals manage unhelpful thought patterns.
Medication: Antipsychotic or mood-stabilizing medications can reduce symptoms.
Inpatient/Outpatient Care: In severe cases, inpatient care may be necessary. Outpatient programs allow individuals to receive structured support while living at home.
Family Counseling: Working with a therapist as a family can improve communication and develop supportive routines.

Conclusion: Creating a Path to Stability and Wellbeing with Christel Maritz, Psychologist in Somerset West, Western Cape

For families navigating the complexities of supporting a loved one through mental instability, particularly when it involves neurodivergent conditions or trauma, compassionate and professional guidance is essential. Christel Maritz, an experienced clinical psychologist in Somerset West, Western Cape, specializes in trauma therapy, EMDR, and neurodivergent support. Her empathetic approach helps families recognize key symptoms and respond effectively to loved ones facing challenges such as psychosis. By prioritizing safety, understanding individual needs, and offering professional support, Christel assists families in fostering a nurturing environment that encourages stability and healing. To contact Christel click here.

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BWRT: A Breakthrough in Trauma Healing

BrainWorking Recursive Therapy is a revolutionary therapeutic approach designed to help individuals overcome trauma quickly and effectively. Developed by Terence Watts, BWRT uses the brain’s natural processes to interrupt negative patterns before they manifest into emotional distress. It is especially beneficial for trauma survivors because it can bring about profound change in a significantly shorter time than many traditional therapies.

How BWRT Works

Understanding the Brain’s Response to Trauma Trauma triggers automatic reactions in the brain, particularly in the limbic system, where emotional responses are generated. When we experience trauma, the brain reacts almost instantly, long before the conscious mind has a chance to intervene. This automatic response often leads to recurring emotional distress, anxiety, and flashbacks.
The Core Principle of BWRT BWRT capitalizes on the brain’s lightning-fast response system. The therapy interrupts the brain’s usual reaction to traumatic triggers, working at the subconscious level to halt negative responses before they fully emerge. This is done through guided visualization and deep mental focus, allowing the brain to rewire its response to the trauma.
How It’s Done During a BWRT session, the therapist guides the client into recalling a distressing situation. However, before the brain can produce its habitual emotional response, the therapist helps the client redirect the brain’s focus toward a new, non-distressing outcome. Over time, the brain rewires itself to react differently to trauma-related memories, effectively neutralizing the emotional pain associated with them.

Why BWRT Is Different

Fast Results: Unlike therapies that require long-term exploration of trauma, BWRT often yields results in just a few sessions. Clients frequently report significant relief from trauma-related symptoms within a matter of weeks, if not sooner.
Non-Invasive: BWRT doesn’t require clients to relive their trauma in detail or talk through it extensively. This makes it especially appealing for those who may find traditional talk therapies too overwhelming or emotionally exhausting.
Direct Rewiring of the Brain: By working with the brain’s natural processes, BWRT directly rewires emotional responses at their root. This allows clients to bypass the prolonged, conscious effort required in many cognitive therapies.

The Power of BWRT for Trauma

It is powerful because it targets trauma at the neurological level. Trauma responses are often hardwired into the brain, making traditional therapeutic approaches lengthy. BWRT, however, changes the brain’s response patterns almost immediately, allowing individuals to heal more quickly.

Conclusion

For those struggling with trauma, BWRT offers a faster, more efficient path to healing. By interrupting the brain’s automatic emotional responses, this innovative therapy enables profound transformation without the need to revisit painful memories in depth. This therapy is a game-changer, helping trauma survivors reclaim control over their lives with remarkable speed.

How fast is BWRT?

BWRT (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy) is known for its rapid results, often producing significant changes within just one to a few sessions. Unlike traditional therapies that may take months or years, BWRT can bring about noticeable improvements in a much shorter timeframe—sometimes within a few weeks.

Many clients report a reduction in trauma symptoms, anxiety, or emotional distress after just one session, while more complex issues may take two to four sessions for full resolution. Its speed is due to its ability to work directly with the brain’s automatic response system, rewiring emotional reactions almost instantly without requiring prolonged processing of the traumatic event.

Take Control of Your Healing Today

If you’re ready to break free from the weight of trauma and reclaim your life, BWRT offers the fast, effective solution you’ve been searching for. Don’t let painful memories continue to hold you back—experience the power of BWRT and see results in just a few sessions.

Book your consultation now and start your journey toward lasting emotional freedom!

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Understanding the Dissociative Brain and Its Impact on Personality Disorders

The brain is a powerful organ that shapes how we perceive and interact with the world. For people with personality disorders, the brain operates in ways that are often different from those without such conditions. This divergence in brain function can result in a dissociative way of processing information, influencing decision-making patterns and how individuals navigate their reality. People with personality disorders frequently experience the world in a manner that is unique—seeing things not in the same colors or structures as others might, both metaphorically and literally.

A Different Way of Thinking

Individuals with personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), dissociative identity disorder (DID), or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), often have a different way of seeing, interpreting, and interacting with their surroundings. The dissociative brain, which may fragment thoughts and emotions, often struggles to maintain consistent self-perception, which in turn influences how decisions are made. For instance, someone with DID may experience different identities that impact decision-making, leading to fragmented choices that feel inconsistent to outsiders. People with BPD might make impulsive decisions based on fluctuating emotions, often leaving themselves and others confused by the rapid shifts.

The difficulty these individuals face is not due to a lack of intelligence or awareness but rather due to the way their brains process information. Neurodivergent brains, in general, don’t follow the conventional patterns of thought that most people are accustomed to. As a result, it can be challenging for those around them to understand their logic or emotions. The struggle, however, is not limited to those with personality disorders; their families and loved ones also face significant challenges in trying to make sense of the person’s decisions and behaviors.

The Struggles Families Face

Living with or caring for someone with a dissociative brain or personality disorder can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Families often feel helpless, overwhelmed, and at a loss when trying to help their loved one manage daily life. For example, decisions that might seem straightforward to one person—such as attending a social event, making career choices, or even how to respond in a relationship—may be a source of intense confusion or fear for someone with a personality disorder. This can lead to miscommunication, frustration, and even estrangement within families.

The reality is that these individuals are often navigating life through a lens of emotional volatility or identity confusion, and their behavior can seem unpredictable or irrational. Families must work together to find ways of coping with this unpredictability, often seeking professional help from therapists, counselors, and support groups. The goal is not to “fix” the individual, but rather to foster understanding and develop strategies that accommodate everyone’s needs and emotions. This means learning how to communicate in ways that are sensitive to the neurodivergent experience while also maintaining boundaries and emotional health for all involved.

Embracing Neurodiversity and Finding Inclusive Solutions

One of the greatest challenges society faces is the stigma that surrounds neurodivergence. When we think of the mind, we often imagine it as something fixed or rigid. However, the truth is that the brain is flexible and capable of growth and adaptation. People with personality disorders are no exception. While their brains may function differently, it is crucial to recognize that they too have the potential to grow, evolve, and find stability in their own way.

The world is not a one-size-fits-all reality, and understanding the diverse ways people think and experience life is a step toward inclusion. By reaching out, learning more about neurodivergence, and creating spaces where people feel safe to be different, we help dismantle the barriers of misunderstanding. Families, friends, and communities need to approach neurodivergent individuals with empathy and openness. Everyone deserves a place in the world, and recognizing the unique strengths that come from different brain wiring is essential in building a more inclusive society.

Ultimately, the dissociative brain may see the world through a different lens, but that does not diminish its worth or potential. The key to living harmoniously with those who think differently is understanding that the mind is not set in stone. It is fluid, adaptable, and capable of great change—just like the world itself. Inclusivity begins when we embrace this diversity and work together to support each other in all our uniqueness.

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When Reality Feels Out of Sync

Signs You Might Be Struggling with realities

These mental health reality issues can sometimes be subtle but deeply impactful. If you notice that your perception of reality seems off, or that people around you aren’t seeing things the way you do, it might be time to reflect. Here are a few signs to watch for:

Difficulty Keeping Reality in Check
You might feel disconnected or find that your version of events is different from those around you. You may recall details or facts differently, leaving others confused or questioning your perspective.
Strained Relationships
If you find that people are avoiding you or becoming distant, it could be a sign that something in your communication or behavior is pushing them away. Relationships that were once close might feel more strained, and interactions may feel forced or awkward.
Divergent Perceptions
When telling a story, you might feel excited or find the event significant, but others seem indifferent or fail to share your enthusiasm. This mismatch can leave you feeling isolated or misunderstood.
Feeling Isolated in Your Views
If you consistently find yourself out of sync with how others perceive reality, situations or events, or if you feel like no one “gets” you, it can create a sense of alienation and frustration.

These signs don’t necessarily mean something is seriously wrong, but they do suggest it may be helpful to explore what’s happening with a trusted professional or support system. Reaching out early can help you regain balance and help with your reality distortions finding new ways to process your perceptions and experiences. In order to be mentally stable you have to find a way to maintain a clear connection with reality.

WHAT IS A REALITY DISTORTION?

Reality distortions refer to alterations in how an individual perceives and interprets the world around them. These distortions can affect one’s thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions, making them differ significantly from objective reality or how others see things. Reality distortions can occur in various mental health conditions, such as:

Delusions: Strong beliefs that are clearly false or not shared by others, often seen in conditions like schizophrenia.
Hallucinations: Sensory experiences (seeing, hearing, feeling things) that are not actually present in the environment.

Conclusion

Reality distortions can significantly impact how individuals perceive and navigate the world, leading to confusion, strained relationships, and isolation. Whether through delusions, hallucinations, cognitive biases, or memory distortions, these altered perceptions can make it challenging to maintain a clear connection with reality. Recognizing these distortions is an important first step toward seeking support. With professional guidance, individuals can better understand their perceptions, manage their mental health, and improve their overall well-being, fostering more meaningful connections with the world and the people around them.

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Origins of Neurodivergence: Genetic and Brain Development Factors

Neurodivergence, or Neurodivergent Spectrum Disorder (NSD), is generally considered a neurodevelopmental condition that originates early in life, typically presenting signs in childhood, often by age 2 or 3. It is not something that is created over time or caused by external factors like parenting, vaccines, or other environmental influences, as past myths suggested. Instead, it is rooted in the brain’s development, with both genetic and environmental factors playing a role.

Key Points on the Origin of Neurodivergence:

Genetic Factors:
Neurodivergence has a strong genetic component. Studies have shown that it tends to run in families, and specific genes have been associated with an increased risk of NSD. However, there isn’t a single “neurodivergence gene.” Instead, it is likely caused by a combination of genetic mutations that impact how the brain develops and functions.
Brain Development:
Research suggests that people with neurodivergence have differences in how their brains are structured and how certain areas communicate with each other. These differences likely begin during prenatal development, as the brain forms, though they may not become apparent until after birth. For example, atypical growth patterns in areas responsible for communication, social behavior, and sensory processing have been observed in individuals with neurodivergence.
Early Development:
The signs of neurodivergence typically appear in early childhood, often before the age of three. Common early signs include difficulties in social interaction, communication challenges, repetitive behaviors, and restricted interests. These behaviors are typically evident in toddlerhood but may become more pronounced as the child grows.
Environmental Factors:
While genetics play a major role, some research suggests that environmental factors might also influence the development of neurodivergence. Factors such as parental age, maternal health, and prenatal exposure to certain substances (like certain medications or pollutants) may slightly increase the risk of NSD. However, these factors do not cause neurodivergence on their own and only contribute to a broader predisposition.

Brain Differences in Neurodivergence:

There are notable differences in brain connectivity and structure in individuals with neurodivergence. These include:

Cerebral Cortex: The cerebral cortex, which is responsible for higher-order functions like language and social behavior, often develops differently in individuals with NSD.
Amygdala and Hippocampus: These areas, related to emotion regulation and memory, also show atypical development in people with neurodivergence.
Neural Connectivity: Studies have found both under-connectivity and over-connectivity between different regions of the brain, leading to challenges in processing social cues, sensory information, and communication.

Neurodivergence is not something that develops later in life but rather something that emerges due to differences in brain development, usually evident from a young age.

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How Stress Affects Your Memory

The relationship between stress and memory is complex. A little bit of stress can enhance your ability to encode, store, and retrieve factual information. Too much stress, however, can shut the system down. You may have had this experience studying for a test. A moderate amount of anxiety is motivating and will help you perform better. Too much on the other hand, especially while taking the actual test, can prevent you from recalling what you know.

The experience of trauma and chronic stress over time can actually change the brain structures involved in memory. To understand how this happens, we need to consider one of the ways memories are formed and recalled.

When we have a sensory experience, the amygdala (associated with processing emotion) influences the hippocampus (associated with processing memory) to encode and store the information. Emotionally charged events (both positive and negative) form stronger memories. Later, when it comes time to retrieve a memory, the prefrontal cortex gives the command.

All three of these brain structures are also involved in traumatic stress.

Chronic Stress and Memory

When we experience a threat, the amygdala sets off an alarm which puts the nervous system and body into fight or flight mode. This system exposes the brain and body to high levels of circulating stress hormones. Research has shown that high levels of stress hormones over time can damage the hippocampus (it actually shrinks). This reduces its ability to encode and form memories.

Additionally, during times of stress, the amygdala will inhibit the activity of the prefrontal cortex. From a biological perspective, this is useful in keeping us alive. Energy and resources are pulled away from higher thought and reasoning (the prefrontal cortex) and re-directed to bodily systems needed to preserve our physical safety. For example, our sensory abilities are heightened. Our muscles receive oxygen and glucose so we can fight or run.

For most if us, the fight or flight response is usually not needed to keep us alive in today’s society. It is not useful during an interview for a job you really want or while out on a date. A chronically activated nervous system actually reduces our ability to function and, over time, damages certain structures in our brain.

Trauma and the Hippocampus

To investigate the effects of trauma on the hippocampus researchers looked at the brains of coal miners who had developed posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being involved in an explosion (2). The researchers found that the coal miners with PTSD had significantly reduced volume of the amygdala and hippocampus in comparison to non-traumatized coal miners.

These findings hold important implications when it comes to memory. Reduced volume in the hippocampus and amygdala due to chronic stress reduces the ability to form and recall memories.

What We Can Do

The brain retains its ability to change throughout the entire lifespan. Studies have already shown that the damaging effects of chronic stress and trauma on the hippocampus can be reversed. For example, the use of antidepressant medication that increases serotonin levels has been shown to counteract the effects of stress on the hippocampus. With antidepressant use, the hippocampal volume in the chronically stressed brain increased.

While the mechanism for the changes in the hippocampus is not fully understood, we can assume that in addition to the increase in serotonin, the reduction in stress that caused the damage in the first place, also plays a role in the reversal of damage to the hippocampus.

Take the steps necessary to reduce chronic stress. Not only will lower stress have a positive effect on your overall quality of life, but it may also begin the process of healing the damage to the brain structures involved in memory. Exercise, therapy, and medication are all options for reversing damages of trauma and chronic stress.

References

Bremner, J. D. (2006). Traumatic stress: effects on the brain. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 8(4), 445.
Zhang, Q., Zhuo, C., Lang, X., Li, H., Qin, W., & Yu, C. (2014). Structural impairments of hippocampus in coal mine gas explosion-related posttraumatic stress disorder. PloS one, 9(7), e102042.
Malberg, J. E., Eisch, A. J., Nestler, E. J., & Duman, R. S. (2000). Chronic antidepressant treatment increases neurogenesis in adult rat hippocampus. Journal of Neuroscience, 20(24), 9104-9110.
Power, J. D., & Schlaggar, B. L. (2017). Neural plasticity across the lifespan. Wiley Interdisciplinary Reviews: Developmental Biology, 6(1), e216.

How Stress Affects Your Memory
How Stress Affects Your Memory
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Out of the Diary of Neurodivergence: Embracing the Uniqueness Within

THE Journey of A NEURODIVERGENT INDIVIDUAL – Self Discovery and Acceptance

Growing up, I always felt different. It was like everyone around me had a manual on how to navigate life, while I was left piecing together the instructions from scattered hints and clues. Social interactions felt like a foreign language, one I couldn’t quite grasp no matter how hard I tried. My awkwardness and inability to express myself made me feel like an outsider, even among my family and closest friends.

For years, I believed there was something inherently wrong with me. I couldn’t understand why I struggled to relate to my siblings, why conversations with my parents felt stilted, and why I seemed to miss the social cues that came naturally to my peers. I often wondered if I was the only one who saw the world through a different lens, feeling lost and misunderstood.

It wasn’t until later in life that I discovered the truth: I am neurodivergent. Learning that my brain functions differently, firing in unique patterns, was both a revelation and a relief. Suddenly, the pieces started to fit together. The awkwardness, the struggles with social skills, the sense of not fully belonging—they all made sense. I wasn’t broken; I was simply wired differently.

Being neurodivergent means experiencing the world in a way that diverges from the norm. It’s like having a superpower in some areas, paired with challenges in others. I’ve always had a knack for certain tasks, excelling in areas where others might struggle. But this talent came with a flip side: difficulty adhering to societal norms and expressing emotions in ways that foster good relationships.

Realizing my neurodivergence was both empowering and daunting. On one hand, it validated my experiences and gave me a framework to understand my struggles. On the other hand, it meant acknowledging that I’d spent a significant part of my life feeling like an outsider in my own skin. It was a bittersweet epiphany, recognizing that my unique perspective was both a gift and a challenge.

Therapy has been a crucial part of my journey. It’s helped me put things into perspective, working on the aspects I’m good at while elevating the areas I previously overlooked. Through therapy, I’ve gained new tools and strategies to navigate life more successfully. I’ve learned to appreciate my neurodivergent mind, understanding that while I might miss certain social cues, I also bring a unique and valuable perspective to the table.

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Unexamined Convictions: Embracing the Power of Self-Reflection

Our beliefs and convictions play a significant role in shaping how we perceive the world and engage with others. However, when we become entrenched in the belief that our way of thinking and living is the only valid one, we inadvertently isolate ourselves and alienate those around us. This lack of self-reflection not only damages our relationships but also poses a serious threat to our mental well-being.

At the core of this issue lies the reluctance or outright refusal to consider alternative perspectives. We cling stubbornly to our own beliefs, convinced of their absolute truth, and dismissive of any dissenting opinions. In doing so, we create an echo chamber of validation where our convictions are reinforced but our growth stunted.

This rigid mindset not only leads to a sense of isolation but also blinds us to the impact of our behavior on others. We fail to recognize how our words and actions may make others feel marginalized, dismissed, or invalidated. Our interactions become one-sided monologues, devoid of genuine dialogue or empathy.

Over time, this pattern of behavior takes a toll on our mental health. The constant need to defend our beliefs, coupled with the growing sense of isolation, can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and even paranoia. We find ourselves trapped in a cycle of negativity, unable to break free from the prison of our own convictions.

Moreover, as we continue to push others away with our rigid stance and refusal to engage in meaningful dialogue, we inevitably find ourselves increasingly alone. People grow weary of the constant conflict and tension, opting instead to distance themselves from the toxicity of our presence. In the end, we are left with nothing but the hollow echo of our own voice, isolated and disconnected from the richness of human connection.

However, all is not lost. The power of self-reflection offers us a way out of this self-imposed isolation. By taking the time to examine our beliefs, behaviors, and their impact on others, we can begin to break free from the shackles of our own convictions. This requires humility, courage, and a willingness to admit when we may be wrong.

Through self-reflection, we can cultivate empathy, understanding, and a genuine appreciation for the diversity of human experience. We learn to listen with an open heart and mind, recognizing the inherent value in every perspective, even those that differ from our own.

In conclusion, the path to true connection and fulfillment lies not in the rigid certainty of our convictions but in the humility to acknowledge our own limitations and the courage to embrace the richness of human diversity. By embracing the power of self-reflection, we can break free from the cycle of isolation and negativity, and cultivate relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and empathy.

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Navigating a Relationship with Someone who has a Personality Disorder

Navigating a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder can be complex and challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and often professional support. While as a novice, you may not be equipped to diagnose a personality disorder, there are certain signs and red flags that could indicate the presence of such issues. However, it’s essential to approach these matters with sensitivity and without jumping to conclusions.

One of the key mental indications that someone might have a personality disorder is the presence of persistent patterns of behavior, thoughts, and emotions that deviate significantly from societal norms and cause distress or impairment in functioning. These patterns tend to be longstanding and pervasive, affecting various aspects of the individual’s life, including their relationships, work, and personal well-being. Common signs may include intense and unstable relationships, impulsivity, emotional volatility, and difficulties in regulating emotions or empathizing with others.

As a novice, it’s crucial to educate yourself about the different types of personality disorders and their symptoms, but it’s equally important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Building a relationship with someone who has a mental health issue requires compassion, open communication, and a willingness to learn and adapt. It’s essential to recognize that individuals with personality disorders are not defined by their condition and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

Seeking support from a clinical psychologist or mental health professional can be invaluable in navigating the challenges of a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder. A psychologist can provide insight into the dynamics of the relationship, offer strategies for managing difficult situations, and help both partners develop coping skills and communication techniques. Additionally, therapy can provide a safe space for discussing concerns, addressing conflicts, and fostering understanding and empathy between partners.

In therapy, both individuals can explore how the personality disorder impacts the relationship dynamics and work collaboratively to identify healthy ways of coping and communicating. Through psychoeducation, couples therapy, and individual therapy sessions, couples can develop strategies for managing symptoms, setting boundaries, and nurturing a supportive and fulfilling relationship.

Ultimately, building a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to mutual growth and understanding. While it may present unique challenges, with the right support and approach, it’s possible to cultivate a loving and resilient partnership built on acceptance, compassion, and genuine connection.

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Recognizing Someone Close To You Might Be Neurodivergent

Recognizing that your partner may be neurodivergent is a journey marked by subtle observations, nuanced understanding, and open communication. Often, the realization dawns when certain behavioral patterns or communication styles deviate significantly from societal norms. It could be a partner who struggles with sensory sensitivities, exhibits repetitive behaviors, or faces challenges in social interactions. This might be a shock, but observing these unique traits can lead you to consider neurodivergence as a potential factor.

Delicate Conversations

The confirmation of neurodivergence often involves delicate conversations. It may begin with gentle inquiries about personal experiences, preferences, and challenges. Sharing educational resources on neurodivergence can foster understanding and encourage your the neurodivergent individual to explore the possibility further. Seeking professional guidance, such as consulting with psychologists or neurodiversity specialists, can provide clarity and a formal diagnosis if needed. This process should be approached with empathy, emphasizing support rather than pathologizing differences.

Handling the realization that your partner, child or someone close to you are neurodivergent requires patience, compassion, and open-mindedness. Understanding that neurodivergence is a natural and valid aspect of human diversity is crucial. Communication becomes paramount—discussing each other’s needs, preferences, and potential challenges can strengthen the relationship. Acknowledge and celebrate the strengths that often accompany neurodivergence, recognizing the unique perspectives and talents to the relationship.

Expect that navigating neurodivergence within a relationship may involve adapting communication styles, and being mindful of sensory sensitivities, and finding common ground in terms of shared activities, will help a lot. A commitment to learning and growing together is fundamental. It’s important to recognize that everyone, neurodivergent or not, has their own set of strengths and challenges, and relationships thrive on mutual understanding and acceptance.

Best Recourse

Recourse to better the situation involves ongoing education, both individually and as a couple or family about neurodivergence. Attend workshops, read literature, and engage with neurodivergent communities to gain insights and tools for navigating your unique relationship. Seeking the assistance of relationship counselors or therapists experienced in neurodivergent dynamics can provide tailored strategies for enhancing communication and connection.

Ultimately, recognizing and embracing neurodivergence within a relationship is an opportunity for growth, understanding, and deeper connection. It involves a commitment to mutual support, continuous learning, and an appreciation of the richness that neurodiversity brings to the tapestry of your partnership. With love, patience, and a willingness to adapt, navigating a neurodivergent relationship can lead to a stronger, more resilient connection built on the foundation of acceptance and understanding.

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Brain Working Recursive Therapy BWRT®

Brain working recursive therapy In the USA and other regions where ‘therapy’ is a restricted term, it is an innovative new concept of working with negative and destructive thought patterns, completely unlike anything that has gone before it. I am a trained Brain working recursive therapist BWRT®. It presents an entirely new view of the subconscious mind – one that is extremely ‘user friendly’ and easy for the client to understand – as well as an elegant way of providing psychotherapy that gets easily beneath the Conscious Critical Faculty.

There is so much in this new methodology that can be used as a ‘stand alone’ to enhance almost every other work methodology!

It’s not hypnosis or a deriviative of hypnotherapy and although it works to release trapContinue Reading

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What is EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health. If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.Continue Reading

When Personas Split: Maintaining Stability and the Impact on Relationships

What is Splitting?

Splitting occurs when a person unconsciously divides aspects of themselves or others into extremes—good or bad, trustworthy or deceitful, lovable or unlovable. It is a psychological defense mechanism often seen in individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or other personality disturbances. Instead of integrating the complexities of human emotions and relationships, those who engage in splitting create rigid categories that influence how they perceive and interact with the world.

How Does It Happen?

Splitting is often rooted in childhood experiences, particularly those involving trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving. When a child learns that their emotional needs are unpredictably met—sometimes receiving love and other times rejection—they may develop an unstable internal framework for understanding relationships. This leads to a fractured sense of self, where different personas emerge in response to various situations.

As the individual grows, they may shift between different versions of themselves depending on their environment. In relationships, this can create instability, as their emotional state and perceptions of others fluctuate drastically. One moment, a partner may be idealized and adored; the next, they are devalued and dismissed as untrustworthy.

The Impact on Relationships

When someone experiences internal division through splitting, relationships often suffer due to:

Emotional Instability – Frequent mood swings make it difficult for partners, friends, or family members to know what to expect.
Trust Issues – The inability to maintain a balanced view of others results in a cycle of admiration and betrayal.
Unresolved Conflicts – The person engaging in splitting may refuse to acknowledge their role in conflicts, always assigning blame to others.
Emotional Exhaustion – The intensity of their shifting personas can be draining for those close to them, leading to burnout and relationship breakdowns.
Fear of Abandonment – The instability often stems from deep-rooted fears of rejection, making them both clingy and avoidant in relationships.

Do They Know What They Are Doing?

This is one of the most difficult aspects of splitting—sometimes, the person is fully aware that they are shifting between personas, while other times, they are acting on subconscious defense mechanisms. Some individuals use manipulation as a survival tool, intentionally altering their behavior to control situations or people. Others, however, are unaware of their actions and genuinely struggle to maintain a consistent self-identity.

Markers to Look Out For

Recognizing when someone is engaging in splitting behaviors can help foster understanding and promote healthier interactions. Some common signs include:

Drastic Mood or Personality Shifts – The person may seem radically different in varying circumstances, switching from affectionate to distant or confident to insecure.
Compartmentalized Relationships – They may act differently depending on the social setting, with stark contrasts between personal and professional behavior.
Inconsistent Emotional Reactions – Their emotional responses may not align with the situation, shifting from extreme defensiveness to deep vulnerability.
Conflicted Self-Perception – The person may struggle with a stable sense of self, sometimes viewing themselves as highly capable and other times as completely unworthy.
Difficulty with Conflict Resolution – A person engaging in splitting may categorize people as entirely good or bad, making reconciliation difficult.

What Can Be Done?

If you or someone you know struggles with splitting personas, there are steps to take toward greater self-integration and improved relationships:

Self-Awareness: Recognizing when and why different personas emerge can help create a more cohesive sense of self.
Therapeutic Support: Working with a mental health professional can aid in uncovering the underlying causes of splitting and developing healthier coping mechanisms.
Open Communication: Encouraging honest and open dialogue in relationships can help reduce misunderstandings and foster deeper connections.
Mindfulness Practices: Engaging in grounding techniques can help individuals stay present and integrated.
Boundary Setting: Establishing and respecting personal boundaries can create a sense of security and prevent emotional overload.

Final Thoughts

While splitting personas can be a means of maintaining stability, it often comes at the cost of relational harmony. By understanding the markers of splitting and addressing its underlying causes, individuals can move toward a more unified self and foster healthier, more stable relationships. If you or someone close to you struggles with this dynamic, seeking professional support can be a valuable step toward healing and connection.

The Rise in Neurodivergence: What the Numbers Say

Over the past decade, there has been a significant increase in the recognition and diagnosis of neurodivergent conditions such as ADHD, Dyslexia, Sensory Processing Disorder, and other cognitive differences. Studies indicate that global diagnoses of neurodivergence have increased, with research highlighting that more individuals are now identified as neurodivergent due to improved awareness and screening methods.

But why this sudden rise? Research suggests several contributing factors:

Greater Awareness & Improved Diagnostic Tools – Clinicians now recognize a wider spectrum of neurodivergent traits, leading to more accurate diagnoses.
Environmental and Genetic Influences – Studies suggest prenatal and early childhood environmental factors, as well as hereditary links, play a role.
Reduced Stigma – With increased advocacy, more individuals feel comfortable seeking assessments and support.

How Neurodivergence Affects Families and Relationships

Living with or loving a neurodivergent individual introduces unique challenges and strengths within relationships. Families often experience heightened emotional intensity, communication difficulties, and the need for additional structure. Common themes include:

Emotional Misalignment: A neurotypical partner or parent may struggle to understand sensory sensitivities, social anxiety, or hyperfocus tendencies.
Parental Burnout: Raising a neurodivergent child often requires extensive emotional and logistical support, leading to stress and exhaustion.
Relationship Struggles: Misinterpretations of social cues, impulsivity, and executive functioning challenges can create friction in partnerships.

While these dynamics can be difficult, understanding and adapting can strengthen relationships. Many families find that embracing neurodivergence leads to deeper compassion, patience, and creativity in problem-solving.

Then vs. Now: How Our Understanding Has Evolved

A decade ago, neurodivergent conditions were often misunderstood and misdiagnosed. Labels such as “troublemaker” (for ADHD) or “withdrawn” (for neurodivergent individuals) were common, and many individuals went undiagnosed well into adulthood. Today, the medical and psychological fields recognize that neurodivergence is not a deficit but a difference in brain functioning. Emphasis has shifted towards strength-based approaches that value neurodivergent individuals’ unique abilities rather than solely focusing on challenges.

First Encounters: How to Respond to a Neurodivergent Person

If you are interacting with a neurodivergent individual for the first time, here are key things to remember:

What NOT to Do:
- Do not dismiss their experiences as “overreacting.”
- Avoid forcing eye contact or social interaction.
- Refrain from saying, “You don’t look neurodivergent,” as this invalidates their experience.
What to Do Instead:
- Offer patience and flexibility.
- Respect their sensory needs (e.g., avoiding overwhelming environments).
- Communicate clearly and directly.

When to Seek Professional Support

If you or a loved one struggles with relationship challenges, sensory overwhelm, anxiety, or emotional dysregulation due to neurodivergence, therapy can provide valuable support. Seeking professional help does not mean something is “wrong”—it means you are taking a proactive step toward understanding and thriving.

As a clinical psychologist based in Somerset West, I have spent countless hours in therapy sessions exploring the complexities of neurodivergence. I have seen firsthand how it can derail relationships, yet also how, with the right support, individuals and families can navigate these challenges successfully.

Let’s Talk – Book a Session

If you’re wondering whether therapy could help, let’s start with a conversation. Reach out to me, Christel Maritz, for an appointment where we can explore your concerns and see if therapy is the right fit for you.

📧 Email me at cmaritz67@gmail.com to book your session today.

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Childhood Abandonment and Understanding Trauma

Childhood is a crucial period for emotional and psychological development. When a child experiences neglect or abandonment, it can leave deep emotional scars that affect their sense of security, self-worth, and ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood. In this article, we will explore what childhood abandonment and trauma entail, how to identify signs of distress in children, approaches to healing, and when to seek professional help.

What is Childhood Abandonment and Trauma?

Childhood abandonment occurs when a child perceives—or actually experiences—a lack of emotional or physical care from their primary caregivers. This can happen due to physical absence, emotional neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or even chronic criticism.

Trauma, in this context, refers to the emotional and psychological wounds that develop from prolonged neglect or a caregiver’s failure to meet a child’s emotional needs. The impact of such trauma can be profound, influencing a child’s ability to trust, regulate emotions, and develop a stable sense of self.

Common Causes of Childhood Abandonment Trauma

Parental neglect – caregivers who are physically present but emotionally unavailable.
Divorce or separation – children may feel rejected or blame themselves.
Death of a parent or caregiver – leading to grief and attachment difficulties.
Parental mental illness or substance abuse – causing unpredictable caregiving.
Institutionalization or foster care – frequent changes in caregivers can prevent secure attachment.

Identifying Signs of Abandonment Trauma in Children

Recognizing childhood abandonment trauma is essential for early intervention. Signs may manifest differently depending on the child’s age and personality, but common indicators include:

Emotional withdrawal – appearing overly independent or struggling to express emotions.
Fear of rejection or clinginess – excessive worry about being left alone or unloved.
Low self-esteem – feelings of worthlessness or self-doubt.
Difficulty forming relationships – struggles with trust, attachment, or maintaining friendships.
Anxiety or depression – excessive sadness, hopelessness, or frequent mood swings.
Behavioral issues – defiance, aggression, or difficulty following rules.
Perfectionism or people-pleasing – constantly seeking validation and fearing disapproval.

Approaches to Healing Childhood Trauma

Healing from childhood abandonment trauma requires a compassionate and structured approach. Here are some steps that can help:

1. Creating a Safe and Stable Environment

Children need consistency and security to heal. Providing a predictable routine, nurturing relationships, and a supportive home environment helps rebuild trust.

2. Encouraging Emotional Expression

Help children identify and express their feelings in a safe manner. Encouraging open conversations about their fears and emotions can foster emotional resilience.

3. Strengthening Attachment Bonds

If possible, rebuilding a secure attachment with the primary caregiver can be healing. This involves active listening, quality time, and reassuring the child of their worth and love.

4. Teaching Coping Skills

Mindfulness, breathing exercises, and creative outlets such as drawing or storytelling can help children process their emotions in a healthy way.

5. Seeking Professional Support

In cases where the trauma is deeply rooted, professional intervention is crucial. A clinical psychologist can provide therapy tailored to the child’s needs, such as play therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or attachment-based interventions.

When to Seek Professional Help

If a child shows persistent signs of distress, difficulty functioning in daily life, or symptoms of anxiety, depression, or PTSD, it is time to seek professional guidance. Therapy can help children process their experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

As a clinical psychologist based in Somerset West, Western Cape, I am passionate about supporting families in understanding and overcoming trauma. If you need guidance in helping your child heal from abandonment trauma, you can contact me at cmaritz67@gmail.com for an appointment.

Healing is possible with the right support, patience, and understanding. By acknowledging and addressing childhood abandonment trauma, we can empower children to grow into emotionally resilient and confident individuals.

Choosing the Right Therapist

Therapy is a deeply personal journey, and choosing the right therapist is one of the most critical steps in ensuring your mental health journey is effective and empowering. With so many options available, including counselors, therapists, psychologists, and other mental health professionals, it’s essential to understand how to evaluate and select the person best suited to help you. Here’s a comprehensive guide to making an informed decision, along with insights into the importance of trust, privacy, and professional training in therapy.

Why Choosing the Right Therapist Matters

Your therapist will be your partner in navigating deeply personal issues, including trauma, relationships, mental health challenges, and personal growth. A misfit between you and your therapist can hinder progress, create frustration, and even discourage you from continuing therapy. Research published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology highlights that a strong therapeutic alliance accounts for up to 30% of positive outcomes in therapy. This underscores the importance of finding someone with whom you feel comfortable and connected.

How to Evaluate Potential Therapists

When considering a therapist, here are some essential criteria to guide your decision:

Professional Credentials and Accreditation
- Verify that the therapist is registered with the appropriate regulatory body, such as the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA) or equivalent organizations in your country.
- Check for continued professional development (CPD) points, which ensure the therapist stays updated on best practices and emerging research.
Experience and Specialization
- Look for therapists who specialize in the areas you need help with, such as trauma, anxiety, neurodivergence, depression, or relationship counseling.
- Inquire about their years of experience and specific therapeutic approaches (e.g., BWRT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Clinical Assessments).
Referrals and Reviews
- Ask for recommendations from trusted friends, family members, or other professionals.
- Check online reviews, testimonials, or professional directories for feedback from previous clients.
Initial Consultation
- Many therapists offer an initial consultation or short phone call to help you gauge whether their approach and personality are a good fit.
- Use this opportunity to ask about their training, therapeutic methods, and experience with cases similar to yours.

Addressing Concerns About Privacy and Judgment

One of the most common fears about therapy is whether your information will remain private and whether you’ll be judged for your thoughts, feelings, or actions. Here’s how to ensure your concerns are addressed:

Confidentiality
- Licensed therapists are bound by strict confidentiality laws and ethical guidelines, ensuring your information remains private unless there is a legal obligation to disclose (e.g., risk of harm to yourself or others).
Non-Judgmental Space
- A professional therapist creates a safe, non-judgmental environment where you can express yourself freely. If you ever feel judged, it’s worth discussing your concerns directly with the therapist or considering a change.
Ongoing Training and Supervision
- The HPCSA’s CPD system ensures that mental health professionals engage in regular training, peer supervision, and ethical discussions, which help maintain high standards of care and sensitivity.

The Risk of a Misfit in Therapy

Statistics show that up to 20% of clients may not find the right therapist on their first attempt, according to a study published in Psychotherapy Research. It’s important to recognize that a mismatch doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you—it simply means you need to try again with someone whose approach resonates better with you.

Empowering Yourself to Make the Best Choice

Ultimately, finding the right therapist is a collaborative process. Trust your instincts, do your research, and don’t be afraid to move on if the therapeutic relationship doesn’t feel right. Therapy should empower you, not add to your stress.

At Christel Maritz Clinical Psychologist, we prioritize your well-being above all else. Christel is a seasoned, caring psychologist who goes above and beyond to stay updated with the latest training, peer consultations, and developments in the field. Her commitment to continued professional development ensures that her methods are effective, ethical, and grounded in the latest research. With a wealth of experience and a compassionate approach, Christel creates a space where you can heal, grow, and thrive with confidence.

Your mental health journey is important. Take the first step toward healing with someone who truly cares and is dedicated to your success. Christel can be contacted via email at cmaritz67@gmail.com.

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