Christel Maritz Blog - Page 16 of 30

Managing your Teenagers Anger, Aggression and Violence

Most teenagers has angry feelings, and they are a normal reaction when things go wrong, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. Children and young people show these feelings in different ways.

Toddlers and young children often have tantrums when they don’t get their own way or feel frustrated. They can scream, hit and destroy things, and this is often their way of saying they don’t like what they are feeling – if they can’t tell us in words, they use their behaviour.

Teenagers can be very defiant and refuse to keep to their parents’ rules as they try and push the boundaries to increase their independence. Hormone changes and changes in the brain mean that many teenagers have trouble controlling their behaviour, seeing other people’s point of view and doing things if they can’t see the point. This can feel quite frightening for the teenagers as well as the parents.

Children and young people can show their anger by shouting, refusing to do what they are told, saying horrible things and trying to upset others. They can break or smash things, and hit or hurt their parents and other family and friends.

Children and young people can feel angry for many reasons, including the following:

Struggling to cope with hormone changes during puberty
Parents arguing or splitting up
Being jealous of a brother or sister
Feeling rejected by parents or family
Seeing other family members fighting or hurting each other
Friendship problems
Being bullied or hurt
Struggling with reading, writing or schoolwork
Exam stress or academic pressure
Being very anxious or stressed about something
Money worries, poverty and housing problems
Having to look after a parent or relative
Splitting up with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Having some angry feelings is normal at all ages, but some children and young people struggle more than others to control these feelings and to sort the problems out. Angry feelings and aggressive behaviour can be very hard to deal with and can have a big effect on family life. Parents, carers and siblings can feel they are ‘walking on eggshells’ around the child, to try and avoid the anger. Parents and carers can feel scared for their own safety and powerless in relation to their child.

Some children and young people get involved with violence outside the home, through their friends, criminal activity or gangs.

Source – http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/worried_about_your_child/anger/managing_anger

The impact of traumatic events on mental health

Traumatic events can be defined as experiences that put either a person or someone close to them at risk of serious harm or death. These can include:

road accidents
violence/prolonged abuse
natural disasters
serious illnesses.

What happens when you experience a traumatic event?

When you experience a traumatic event, your body’s defences take effect and create a stress response, which may make you feel a variety of physical symptoms, behave differently and experience more intense emotions.

This fight or flight response, where your body produces chemicals which prepare your body for an emergency can lead to symptoms such as:

raised blood pressure
increased heart rate
increased sweating
reduced stomach activity (loss of appetite).

This is normal, as it’s your body’s evolutionary way of responding to an emergency, making it easier for you to fight or run away.

Directly after the event people may also experience shock and denial. This can give way over several hours or days to a range of other feelings such as sadness, anger and guilt. Many people feel better and recover gradually.

However, if these feelings persist, they can lead to more serious mental health problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

People experiencing PTSD can feel anxious for years after the trauma, whether or not they were physically injured.

Common symptoms of PTSD include re-experiencing the event in nightmares or flashbacks, avoiding things or places associated with the event, panic attacks, sleep disturbance and poor concentration. Depression, emotional numbing, drug or alcohol misuse and anger are also common.

The most effective therapeutic approach for long-term, severe PTSD appears to be talking treatments with a clinical psychologist, in which the person with PTSD is encouraged to talk through their experiences in detail. This may involve behavioural or cognitive therapeutic approaches.

Antidepressants may also be prescribed to relieve the depression which people who have survived trauma often experience at the same time.

Depression

Depression is different from feeling down or sad. Someone experiencing depression will experience intense emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness, and the feelings stay with them instead of going away.

Talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and some forms of counselling and psychotherapy work well for depression. Anti-depressants may also be recommended, either on their own or in combination with talking therapies.

Find out more about depression

What to do after experiencing a traumatic event

Turn to others for support

It can be difficult to talk to close family or friends after a traumatic event. You may not want to cause them any distress or may simply want some space to process it all. However, it is important to be around other people when you feel able to, as they can help with your recovery and well being. You do not have to talk to them about the experience. If you don’t have anyone close by to talk to, you can contact one of the organisations below, who will be able to offer further help.

Look after yourself

It is important to look after your health and well being. This can include taking a break or some time away to deal with your experience. You should also try and keep a healthy diet and stay away from drugs and alcohol, which can exacerbate the problem.

Seek professional help

If you are experiencing symptoms that are affecting your day to day life, it is important to get professional help as soon as possible so you can begin to get better. You should consider seeking help if:

you don’t have anyone to talk to
you don’t feel like your feelings have returned to normal after 6 weeks
someone close to you has noticed changes and is urging you to seek help
your work or studies are affected
you find it difficult to carry out daily tasks
you are using drugs or alcohol to cope.

The first person to approach is your family doctor or GP. He or she should be able to give advice about treatment, and may refer you to another local professional. If you feel that a traumatic event is impacting your life negatively, contact me today and together we can address your trauma in a way to minimize the negative impact it has. Together we can work towards your mental health.

Second Marriage Problems

Many couples face second marriage problems. As you will discover from reading this article, these relationships contain their own set of difficult issues. Remember as you read through the pages of these various useful articles that you are not alone. Many people, fortunately or unfortunately, have paved the road ahead of you. Many people have gone through one (or more) divorce.

If we examine the issue, it might be true (for a percentage of the population anyway) that on too many occasions one or both members of a couple have rushed headlong into the relationship as a way to ease the pain, confusion, isolation, and loneliness of divorce. It is of course worth bearing in mind that many previously divorced individuals enter into their next relationship or ‘life-long” connection within three years of ending their first union.

For others, the challenges of a blended family result in overwhelm, anger, or hopelessness. This is no surprise when you consider that more than 70% of next relationships include step-children. Working out discipline rules, visitation, and holidays between two households can lead to one or more parents feeling out of control.

Having been divorced once, sometimes the barrier to ending a relationship doesn’t seem so daunting. It’s almost as if, in the next union, one or both members of the couple might secretly be thinking “well, I survived divorce once. I guess I could survive it again.” Not something many first time newlyweds think or feel.

If you find that you need to re-align your focus and find your balance in a blended family, or that you are struggling with typical second marriage problems, contact me, Christel Maritz, and together we can find ways for you to feeling more in control.

See more at: http://www.marriage-and-relationship-counseling.com/second-marriage-problems.html#sthash.EK34Mcgg.dpuf

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Warning signs of a mental illness

Major mental illnesses such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder rarely appear “out of the blue.” Most often family, friends, teachers or individuals themselves begin to recognize small changes or a feeling that “something is not quite right” about their thinking, feelings or behavior before one of these illnesses appears in its full-blown form.

Learning about developing symptoms, or early warning signs, and taking action on mental illness can help. Early intervention can help reduce the severity of an illness. It may even be possible to delay or prevent a major mental illness altogether.

Signs & Symptoms of mental illness

If several of the following are occurring, it may useful to follow up with a mental health professional.

Withdrawal — Recent social withdrawal and loss of interest in others
Drop in functioning — An unusual drop in functioning, at school, work or social activities, such as quitting sports, failing in school or difficulty performing familiar tasks
Problems thinking — Problems with concentration, memory or logical thought and speech that are hard to explain
Increased sensitivity — Heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, smells or touch; avoidance of over-stimulating situations
Apathy — Loss of initiative or desire to participate in any activity
Feeling disconnected — A vague feeling of being disconnected from oneself or one’s surroundings; a sense of unreality
Illogical thinking — Unusual or exaggerated beliefs about personal powers to understand meanings or influence events; illogical or “magical” thinking typical of childhood in an adult
Nervousness — Fear or suspiciousness of others or a strong nervous feeling
Unusual behavior – Odd, uncharacteristic, peculiar behavior
Sleep or appetite changes — Dramatic sleep and appetite changes or decline in personal care
Mood changes — Rapid or dramatic shifts in feelings

One or two of these symptoms alone can’t predict a mental illness. But if a person is experiencing several at one time and the symptoms are causing serious problems in the ability to study, work or relate to others, he/she should be seen by a mental health professional. People with suicidal thoughts or intent, or thoughts of harming others, need immediate attention.

More than a decade of research around the world has shown that early intervention can often minimize or delay symptoms, prevent hospitalization and improve prognosis. Even if a person does not yet show clear signs of a diagnosable mental illness, these “red flag” early warning symptoms can be frightening and disruptive.

A mental disorder, also called a mental illness^[or psychiatric disorder, is a diagnosis by a mental health professional of a behavioral or mental pattern that may cause suffering or a poor ability to function in life. Such features may be persistent, relapsing and remitting, or occur as a single episode. Many disorders have been described, with signs and symptoms that vary widely between specific disorders.

Source – https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_disorder