Trauma and When the Limbic Brain Takes Over

How Trauma Sabotages Our Relationships

We all know the feeling of being “caught up in our emotions.” In moments of conflict or stress, we may lash out, withdraw, or repeat patterns that hurt those closest to us. At the time, it might not even feel like we are doing anything “so bad.” Instead, we justify our actions, believing that others simply don’t understand. But when this cycle repeats, we risk creating a destructive environment where we weaponise the care and concern of our loved ones.

This dynamic often stems from something deeper: unresolved trauma and the way it affects our brain.

The Limbic Brain: The Emotional Brain

The limbic brain (system) is the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions, survival instincts, and memories. Key structures like the amygdala and hippocampus regulate fear responses, emotional memories, and how safe or unsafe we feel in the world. When we experience trauma—whether in childhood or adulthood—this system can become overly sensitive.

Research has shown that when we are emotionally triggered, the limbic brain can “hijack” our responses (LeDoux, 2000). In this state, our frontal cortex—the rational, thinking brain—gets overridden. Instead of reflecting, reasoning, and engaging calmly, we react impulsively and defensively.

This is why in moments of emotional instability, we “can’t see the forest for the trees.” Our perspective narrows, self-awareness fades, and we struggle to separate the intensity of our feelings from reality.

Trauma, Self-Awareness, and Dysfunctional Cycles

When we operate primarily from the limbic brain, our behaviors often become reactive rather than intentional. Low self-awareness means we may not recognise that our actions are hurtful. Instead, we may focus only on how misunderstood we feel, justifying repeated dysfunctional patterns.

Over time, these cycles can sabotage our relationships. Loved ones may feel blamed, manipulated, or shut out—especially if their caring is turned against them. What starts as an attempt to cope with overwhelming emotions can create an atmosphere of tension and mistrust.

Healing requires stepping out of the limbic loop and reconnecting with the frontal cortex. This means cultivating awareness, reflection, and healthier ways of processing emotions.

Moving from Reaction to Reflection

The good news is that the brain is not fixed. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself—means we can learn to regulate our emotions, calm the limbic system, and restore balance between the emotional and rational parts of the brain.

Therapeutic approaches such as trauma-focused therapy, mindfulness practices, and cognitive-behavioral techniques have been shown to help individuals gain access to their thinking brain even when emotions are intense (Siegel, 2012). By addressing unresolved trauma, we create space to step back, see the bigger picture, and respond rather than react.

A Call to Healing

If you recognise yourself trapped in the limbic brain—or if you see a loved one caught in them—it may be time to seek help. You don’t have to stay trapped in patters and cycles of emotional reactivity, nor do your relationships need to remain burdened by unhealed trauma.

With the right support, it is possible to restore clarity, strengthen self-awareness, and reconnect with those you love in healthier ways.

If this resonates with you or someone in your family, please reach out to me, Christel Maritz, Clinical Psychologist, to begin the journey toward healing and emotional balance. Therapy is not about blame—it’s about breaking free from the limbic brain hijack and reclaiming your thinking brain.

📞 Contact me today to take the first step toward change.

References

LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Emotion circuits in the brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 23(1), 155–184. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.neuro.23.1.155

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Viking.

Pessoa, L. (2008). On the relationship between emotion and cognition. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 9(2), 148–158. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2317

How Stress Affects Your Memory

The relationship between stress and memory is complex. A little bit of stress can enhance your ability to encode, store, and retrieve factual information. Too much stress, however, can shut the system down. You may have had this experience studying for a test. A moderate amount of anxiety is motivating and will help you perform better. Too much on the other hand, especially while taking the actual test, can prevent you from recalling what you know.

The experience of trauma and chronic stress over time can actually change the brain structures involved in memory. To understand how this happens, we need to consider one of the ways memories are formed and recalled.

When we have a sensory experience, the amygdala (associated with processing emotion) influences the hippocampus (associated with processing memory) to encode and store the information. Emotionally charged events (both positive and negative) form stronger memories. Later, when it comes time to retrieve a memory, the prefrontal cortex gives the command.

All three of these brain structures are also involved in traumatic stress.

Chronic Stress and Memory

When we experience a threat, the amygdala sets off an alarm which puts the nervous system and body into fight or flight mode. This system exposes the brain and body to high levels of circulating stress hormones. Research has shown that high levels of stress hormones over time can damage the hippocampus (it actually shrinks). This reduces its ability to encode and form memories.

Additionally, during times of stress, the amygdala will inhibit the activity of the prefrontal cortex. From a biological perspective, this is useful in keeping us alive. Energy and resources are pulled away from higher thought and reasoning (the prefrontal cortex) and re-directed to bodily systems needed to preserve our physical safety. For example, our sensory abilities are heightened. Our muscles receive oxygen and glucose so we can fight or run.

For most if us, the fight or flight response is usually not needed to keep us alive in today’s society. It is not useful during an interview for a job you really want or while out on a date. A chronically activated nervous system actually reduces our ability to function and, over time, damages certain structures in our brain.

Trauma and the Hippocampus

To investigate the effects of trauma on the hippocampus researchers looked at the brains of coal miners who had developed posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after being involved in an explosion (2). The researchers found that the coal miners with PTSD had significantly reduced volume of the amygdala and hippocampus in comparison to non-traumatized coal miners.

These findings hold important implications when it comes to memory. Reduced volume in the hippocampus and amygdala due to chronic stress reduces the ability to form and recall memories.

What We Can Do

The brain retains its ability to change throughout the entire lifespan. Studies have already shown that the damaging effects of chronic stress and trauma on the hippocampus can be reversed. For example, the use of antidepressant medication that increases serotonin levels has been shown to counteract the effects of stress on the hippocampus. With antidepressant use, the hippocampal volume in the chronically stressed brain increased.

While the mechanism for the changes in the hippocampus is not fully understood, we can assume that in addition to the increase in serotonin, the reduction in stress that caused the damage in the first place, also plays a role in the reversal of damage to the hippocampus.

Take the steps necessary to reduce chronic stress. Not only will lower stress have a positive effect on your overall quality of life, but it may also begin the process of healing the damage to the brain structures involved in memory. Exercise, therapy, and medication are all options for reversing damages of trauma and chronic stress.

References

Bremner, J. D. (2006). Traumatic stress: effects on the brain. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 8(4), 445.
Zhang, Q., Zhuo, C., Lang, X., Li, H., Qin, W., & Yu, C. (2014). Structural impairments of hippocampus in coal mine gas explosion-related posttraumatic stress disorder. PloS one, 9(7), e102042.
Malberg, J. E., Eisch, A. J., Nestler, E. J., & Duman, R. S. (2000). Chronic antidepressant treatment increases neurogenesis in adult rat hippocampus. Journal of Neuroscience, 20(24), 9104-9110.
Power, J. D., & Schlaggar, B. L. (2017). Neural plasticity across the lifespan. Wiley Interdisciplinary Reviews: Developmental Biology, 6(1), e216.

How Stress Affects Your Memory
How Stress Affects Your Memory
Disorders

Isolation and Mental Health

Most of us experience feelings of loneliness at some point in our lives. Loneliness can arise when we live in isolation, spend more time by ourselves than we want, or feel disconnected from the people around us.

What Is Isolation?

Isolation occurs when we are separated—or feel separated—from the people and things around us. Sometimes, this separation is a choice. Other times, it is imposed by circumstances beyond our control, such as moving to a new place, losing a loved one, or going through major life changes.

It’s important to recognize that you can feel lonely even when surrounded by other people. Many things can set us apart: our gender, skin colour, height, weight, personal interests, or even how seriously we approach school or work. Isolation can also stem from differences in thought or emotion—if we believe others don’t think or feel the same way we do, we can feel disconnected.

As the novelist Thomas Wolfe put it, loneliness is the “central and inevitable experience of every man.” It is something almost everyone experiences, even if only for a brief time.

Staying Connected

When we feel isolated, it can be tempting to withdraw further, avoiding others and retreating into ourselves. But this often intensifies the feelings of loneliness.

Here are some ways to stay connected:

Engage with your community: Join groups, clubs, or activities that align with your interests. Shared activities are powerful for creating meaningful connections.
Reach out to family or old friends: Even if it’s been a long time, sending a message, email, or making a phone call can rekindle connections. You might find that your outreach is just as meaningful to others as it is to you.
Take the first step: You don’t have to wait for others to reach out. Small gestures—like inviting someone for coffee or joining a local class—can make a big difference.

Embracing Vulnerability

Loneliness can be difficult to talk about. Many people fear that sharing their feelings will burden others or make them appear weak. Yet showing vulnerability is often the path to deeper connections. Allowing others to see your authentic self can open the door to understanding, empathy, and genuine friendship.

Remember: Feeling lonely at times is natural. What matters is taking action to connect, even in small ways. The more you engage, reach out, and share your authentic self, the more likely you are to feel seen, supported, and connected.

Co-Dependency Questionnaire?

Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?

3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?

4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?

5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?

6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?

7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?

8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?

9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?

10. Have you ever felt inadequate?

11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?

12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?

13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?

14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?

15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?

16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?

17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?

18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?

19. Do you have trouble asking for help?

20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.

How is Co-dependency Treated?

Because co-dependency is usually rooted in a person’s childhood, treatment often involves exploration into early childhood issues and their relationship to current destructive behavior patterns. Treatment includes education, experiential groups, and individual and group therapy through which co-dependents rediscover themselves and identify self-defeating behavior patterns. Treatment also focuses on helping patients getting in touch with feelings that have been buried during childhood and on reconstructing family dynamics. The goal is to allow them to experience their full range of feelings again.

When Co-dependency Hits Home

The first step in changing unhealthy behavior is to understand it. It is important for co-dependents and their family members to educate themselves about the course and cycle of addiction and how it extends into their relationships. Libraries, drug and alcohol abuse treatment centers and mental health centers often offer educational materials and programs to the public.

A lot of change and growth is necessary for the co-dependent and his or her family. Any caretaking behavior that allows or enables abuse to continue in the family needs to be recognized and stopped. The co-dependent must identify and embrace his or her feelings and needs. This may include learning to say “no,” to be loving yet tough, and learning to be self-reliant. People find freedom, love, and serenity in their recovery.

Hope lies in learning more. The more you understand co-dependency the better you can cope with its effects. Reaching out for information and assistance can help you live a healthier, more fulfilling life. If you feel that this is an area of your life that needs professional support, please contact me and together we will work towards finding solutions.

Conclusion

Co-dependency is not a life sentence—it’s a pattern that can be understood, healed, and transformed. By educating yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking the right support, you can break the cycle that keeps you stuck. Recovery is not about blame, but about growth, freedom, and rediscovering your authentic self.

If you find yourself struggling with the weight of co-dependency, remember: you don’t have to walk this road alone. Reaching out for guidance is a powerful first step toward a healthier, more balanced life. Contact me – cmaritz67@gmail.com.